Cry Havok
by Red Witch
Summary: How did Alex Summers end up as a hometown superhero? Will the characters stop squabilling over their scripts?Find out in this completed crazy fic!
1. My Life as a Teenage Mutant

**I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters. I'm not making any money off of them. So why am I doing this? I'm insane. Duh. Well here's a crazy story about how Alex became a superhero in his little town. I hope you like it. **

**Cry Havok**

**Or: How I Became a Superhero Without Really Trying**

**Chapter 1: My Life as a Teenage Mutant**

_My name is Alex Summers and I'm a mutant. That sounds like something you'd hear at a meeting or something but it's true. Like my brother Scott I covert solar energy and can send it out from my body. But where Scott shoots optic beams from his eyes, I shoot energy from my hands. And I have slightly better control over my powers. _

_My mutant name is Havok. Which is real fitting considering the situation I got myself into. That's why I'm writing this down about everything that's happened to me. I guess the mess really started the day after I fought Apocalypse with my brother and helped save the world. I was careful to let nobody know I was a mutant in my town but thanks to SHEILD broadcasting my picture all over the planet that ended pretty quick. _

_Now the town of Hoapono is pretty small. Not exactly a bustling metropolis but we're near the beach and we have some pretty decent places where you can get chili cheese fries so it's all good. Pretty much everybody knows everyone else. I mean the town only has about 347 people in it. So you can imagine how hard it is to keep secrets. And as soon as one person knows something, they tell two or three people and they tell two or three people…_

_It took twenty minutes and thirty-five seconds for the entire town to learn I was a mutant. Half the people were watching TV at home and the other half were at the local bar watching soap operas so their wives wouldn't find out and hassle them. _

_Well that night after I saved the world, I went home very tired. The next day I woke up to find a huge mob on my front lawn…_

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"Come on Meat," Alex groaned. "Let go of me!"

"No!" A huge native Hawaiian with long black hair and wearing a red T-shirt and a red and yellow flowered shirt and tan shorts was holding him very tightly. "You deserve this!"

"You don't have to do this!" Alex begged.

"Yes I do!" Meat said cheerfully. "_For he's a jolly good fellow! For he's a jolly good fellow! For he's a jolly good fellllowwwwww!" _

"Meat stop hugging me! You're breaking my ribs…" Alex begged. "This is so embarrassing…"

"You're embarrassed? I'm related to the guy!" Alex's friend Dave groaned. Dave was a stocky native Hawaiian with black hair and a goatee.

"Hooray for Alex!" Meat shouted. "Hip! Hip! Hooray!"

"Guys! Please! Put me down!" Alex begged as all his surfing buddies carried him around their shoulders. "Oh man I think I was better off with Apocalypse!"

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_Yup, nobody at school hated me. They thought I was a hero. And at the time I felt like one. But I thought it was gonna be a one time thing. Boy was I wrong…_

_You would have thought everything was smooth sailing from then on right? Not true. Okay so most of the townspeople here didn't want to kill me or anything, but there were changes. People started to look at me differently. Even Sheriff Lobo kept wanting to 'keep an eye' on me. He seemed to make it a point to drive up and watch what I was doing at least once a week. I don't think he meant to do it in a bad way. A lot of people had called into the sheriff's station and some of them were big shots from the government or those who owned factories and stuff. Translation: the rich and powerful were nervous a mutant was among them._

_But most people in Hoapono are okay. I mean it is a small town. Most of our neighbors knew me since I was a kid. And I grew up with those kids. I'm really lucky. Most mutants' friends turn their backs on them when their powers come out. Mine didn't. _

_But that still didn't make my life any easier._

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"I can't believe they just dropped me like that," Mr. Masters shook his head. "Especially after all I've done for them in the past."

"Who dropped you?" Alex asked as he came down to get something to eat. His parents were in the kitchen.

"Oh nothing," Mr. Masters said. "Just some wedding got canceled at the last minute. Well at least this time they dropped out before I baked the cake." Mr. Masters was a professional chef and baker with his own catering company.

Alex immediately picked up something was wrong. "Well, at least you still have that big shindig up at the Radison Hotel next week."

His parents winced. "That's who canceled right?" Alex said. "Why? You've been working for them for years! They've always loved your pastries."

"They just…found someone cheaper that's all," Mr. Masters said.

"You mean someone who doesn't have a mutant for a son," Alex frowned. "I'm not stupid Dad! This is like the fifteenth time this has happened since people found out."

"It's not that big a deal," Mrs. Masters said. "It's not like we're going to starve."

"Not with all those extra frozen pies I have," Mr. Masters added.

"But it's still my fault," Alex frowned as he began to leave.

"No it isn't," Mrs. Masters said. "Alex! Alex!"

"I gotta go," Alex said. "I got a surfing competition to go to…"

_It didn't get any better when I got to the beach. You see me, Dave and Hal were all going to compete in a semi pro tournament being held a few towns over. We were gonna take the official bus to the tournament after we signed it. However…_

"What do you mean I'm not registered?" Alex asked the official in charge.

"I'm afraid you've been barred from the competition," The official said.

"But why?" Alex asked. "What did I do?"

"It's more like what you **can **do opposed than what you did do," The official said.

"But that stinks!" Hal shouted. "He can't help being a mutant!"

"He doesn't even use his powers while surfing!" Dave said. "Well unless there's a shark around…"

"We feel that a mutant would have an unfair advantage over the other competitors," the official said.

"Hey I'm a native Hawaiian!" Dave snapped. "Some people would say **I** have a natural advantage when it comes to surfing!"

"You would think that but he doesn't," Hal quipped.

"I'm sorry but the decision is final," The official said.

"That totally bites!" Dave said.

"Well who needs your stupid competition anyway?" Hal asked. "If Alex isn't going, we're not going!"

"No you guys go ahead," Alex told them. "I don't want you to miss out because of me. It's okay, really."

"But Alex…" Hal began.

"Look I just gotta think a bit okay," Alex said. "You go. I'll be all right."

"Are you sure?" Dave asked.

"Just shred a few good ones for me, okay?" Alex said. He watched them board the bus and waved them goodbye. He walked a ways and kicked a can. "Stupid powers! Stupid jerks!"

"Hey Alex!" A thin older man with wild white hair, red T-shirt, jeans and a jean jacket walked up to him. He was walking a large St. Bernard on a leash. "What's up?"

"Hey Jim!" Alex waved. "Hi Mr. Mayor!" He reached down and petted the dog. "Wow, Sprinkles is really putting on weight."

"Well you know how the Mayor loves his kibbles n' bits," Jim laughed. "Say isn't there a surfing competition today?"

"Not for me," Alex sighed.

"Let me guess," Jim looked at him. "They played the old 'You Can't Because You're Not One of Us' card?"

"Bingo," Alex said. "I mean I know I'm lucky to live here. But it's still hard to be a mutant sometimes when so many people are afraid of you. Or won't let you do the things you love."

"Mutant? So it wasn't a Republican thing?" Jim blinked.

"No Jim," Alex patiently corrected him like he had done so many times before. "It's definitely a mutant thing."

"Oh that's rough," Jim patted him on the back. "But don't feel bad boy. I remember a time when they wouldn't let certain people even on the beach because they were thought to be undesirables. They were discriminated against, called names, even banned from owning property just because of who they were. It was a harsh and unjust existence until one day, one of them said 'Hey! We are human beings! We should have the same rights and freedoms as everyone else'! And everyone agreed. So they decided to do something about it!"

"Really?" Alex asked. "What did they do?"

"They went on strike that's what they did!" Jim told him. "They decided to bring the administration to their knees! But it wasn't easy. Even though they picketed, the police made sure that the strike would not be publicized. News cameras and pictures were prohibited and the strikers were intimidated. But they kept on!"

"Wow, that's amazing," Alex said.

"That's right boy," Jim nodded. "I may have only been a lad but my heart swelled with pride as my old man took me to see the picket lines. And we decided then and there that such discrimination must be fought and it was our duty as Americans to help the oppressed! We worked with those people hard and long. It was a rough struggle, but we succeeded. And today those people have their freedoms that others take for granted!"

"All right!" Alex felt better.

"Uh huh," Jim nodded. "Today any hooker has the right to go anywhere she wants and to buy any house she wants!"

"Hookers?" Alex blinked.

"Yeah hookers," Jim said. "You know they were banned from public beaches and owning property and stuff? Who did you think I was talking about?"

"Never mind," Alex sighed and started to walk away. "Thanks for the pep talk."

"Any time my boy!" Jim waved. "Hmmm, that really makes me remember my Dad. He loved his hookers. That reminds me. I wonder if I gave him his medication today?"

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" A woman screamed. An elderly gentleman was chasing an attractive woman.

"Oops," Jim blinked. "I knew there was something I forgot to do! Come on Mr. Mayor, we gotta track down Dad! Dad! Dad! Come back here!"

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_As you've probably figured out by now life in the town of Hoapono is definitely different than most other towns. I was still feeling pretty low so I decided to go to the local hangout and drown my sorrows in a huge cheeseburger with a pineapple on top. Today wasn't exactly the best day of my life. Little did I know it was about to get weirder. Much weirder…_


	2. My First Bank Robbery

**My First Bank Robbery**

_Like I said I was feeling blue and depressed so I walked downtown. It wasn't that far and I thought things would be quiet. Boy was I wrong…_

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Alex didn't get far downtown when suddenly he heard a scream and an alarm. "That's coming from the bank!" Alex said.

Suddenly a man was kicked through the front door onto the ground. "Please don't hurt me!" He shouted.

Two women dressed identically in silver and red metal suits of armor burst through the windows. The only way they could be distinguished was by their pony-tailed hair, one was blond and the other was jet black. "You shouldn't have set off the alarm!" The blond one mocked as she held a sack of money.

"Specifically when we told you not to," The black haired one laughed. "Now we're gonna blast you!"

"Leave him alone!" Alex shouted rushing to the man's defense.

"Look Stella," The blond haired woman in silver mocked. "The kid wants to play hero."

"Let him try Luna," The dark haired woman in silver grinned. "This should be good."

Both women held each other's hand and powered up. Their free hands turned bright blue and sent out beams of energy. Alex dodged them. "Nice trick!" Alex snapped as he shot off his energy blasts from both hands. "But mine's better!"

He caught both women off guard and blasted them backwards. "YEOW! THAT HURT!" Stella snapped.

"Let him try huh?" Luna snapped.

"How was I supposed to know he was a mutant too?" Stella snapped. "Okay! Let's let him have it!" Both women levitated and fired back.

"Oh no you don't!" Alex shouted as he fired at them. Soon there was a blasting free for all. Alex accidentally hit an abandoned building. "Oops!"

"Nice aim!" Stella laughed as it caught fire. She and Luna aimed for Alex but hit another uninhabited building instead.

"Look who's talking!" Alex snapped. "Wow, good thing a lot of places went out of buisness downtown."

"This is taking too long! Grab the loot and go!" Stella ordered Luna.

"Don't tell me what to do!" Luna snapped. "You're not the boss of me!"

"Yes I am!" Stella snapped as she dodged Alex's next blast. "I'm older!"

"Only by three minutes!" Luna snapped. "You always pull this crap on me! Ever since we were kids…"

"Just get the stuff and go!" Stella snapped.

"Fine!" Luna grumbled as she separated from her sister and dived back towards the bag full of stolen money and jewels.

"Oh no you don't!" Alex ran to the bag and grabbed the other end.

"Hey! Give me that! We stole that fair and square!" Luna shouted as she tugged on it.

"No way!" Alex managed to pull the bag out of her hands and used one hand to use his force blast to send her flying into a tree.

"If you want something done right…" Stella grumbled as she tried to blast Alex.

Alex dodged her blasts and hit Stella straight into a wall. "Ow…" She rubbed her head. Then she heard the sound of sirens. "Oh great the cops! Luna! Come on, we gotta go!"

"Boss ain't gonna be happy with this," Luna grumbled as she recovered and flew upwards.

"No kidding!" Stella said as they flew off. "Let's get out of here!"

"All right!" Alex jumped up and down. "Yeah go ahead and run! Yahoo!"

"ALEX SUMMERS!" Sheriff Lobo ran up to him. "WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE?"

Alex looked around at the destruction and the bag of cash next to him. "Oops," Alex gulped. "Uh I can explain…"

**Next: Alex finds out he has to do some unusual community service. Just so you know, Stella and Luna are mine. You'll see them again if you like. **


	3. How I Became a Superhero

**How I Became a Superhero**

_From Alex's Journal:_

_Even though I stopped a bank robbery by those two weirdoes, I ended up getting arrested anyway. Not for robbing a bank, but for the destruction of property! Fortunately for me I wasn't in jail very long. About three minutes to be exact.You seethe bank president and the people who got robbed told Sheriff Lobo what happened and they got their money back they spoke up for me, which was really weird. _

_Since our town is really small the judge on duty decided to have an emergency session in court. So after I got booked at the station we walked next door to the courthouse. Already half the people in town were filling up the room. I had a public defender so I wasn't too worried when I faced the judge. Maybe I should have been…_

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"Okay this court is now in session!" Jim pounded on his gavel. Mayor Sprinkles was next to him. "Alex Summers you stand accused of trashing public property, how do you plead?"

"Uh, would you believe it was an accident?" Alex gulped.

"But you did do it, didn't you?" Jim looked at him.

"Technically," Deputy Yokel stood up. "But he only used his powers to stop two thieves which we have witnesses for. He only meant to blast them! He's really sorry your Honor, so if he wants to pay for the damages can we go please? Pretty please?"

"When is this town ever going to get a **real lawyer?**" Sheriff Lobo grumbled. "Look even though his intentions were good, his aim was way off!"

"It was good enough to keep me from getting blasted!" The teller from the bank shouted. Several people called out in support.

An elderly woman stood up and showed them a green ring. "This ring has been in my family for generations. It's all I have left of my mother. Well that and her large fortune. This young man's actions kept those horrible tramps away from it! So he was a bit over enthusiastic. He was just trying to help! He shouldn't be punished for that!"

"He also trashed half of downtown!" Sheriff Lobo snapped. "That's what he should be punished for!"

"Well that sausage building was gonna be demolished anyway…" Deputy Yokel said. "And then so was that other abandoned building. It had a lot of rats in it. Technically it was already trashed. Plus nobody got really hurt. Well, nobody but the bad guys anyway…"

"Deputy Yokel can I ask you something?" Sheriff Lobo glared at him. "What the hell does my **sister **see in **you**?"

"Look, your Honor..." Alex said.

"Oh boy call me Jim," Jim waved. Sprinkles barked. "Everybody does."

"Oh lord…" Sheriff Lobo groaned. "Yeah this is a fair court!"

"Sir," Alex said. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to damage anything. I was just trying to help. I'll pay for the damages. I can get a job to work it off. If anyone will hire me."

"Well the Mayor and I had an idea," Jim scratched his head. "You could work off any damages by performing community service."

"That's not a bad idea," Sheriff Lobo said.

"And the best way he could do that is by working with the Sheriff's Department by catching criminals and solving crimes," Jim grinned.

"**That** is a bad idea," Sheriff Lobo glared at him.

The Mayor responded with a loud woof. "Mayor Sprinkles thinks that it's a great idea," Jim grinned. "Just imagine, our very own superhero! Well unless you count Captain Midnight."

An elderly man in long red underwear, a cape and black mask wearing a colander on his head grumbled. "Whippersnappers! Just 'cause I'm over eighty and made one or two hundred mistakes…THIS IS AGE DISCRIMINATION! THAT'S WHAT IT IS!"

"Dad will you knock it off?" Jim snapped. "You know you can't fly! The aliens contaminated our drinking water and took away your superpowers!"

"Aliens did not take away his superpowers!" One man stood up. "I really hate it when people bad mouth aliens for no good reason!"

"He's right," Another man said. "It's the government that's responsible for that!"

"God, there are days when I really **hate **this town…" Sheriff Lobo moaned.

"Then it's settled!" Jim grinned. "From now on, Alex Summers is our new superhero! Which reminds me, you need a name. A superhero name."

"Well I do have one," Alex admitted. "Havok. With a k."

"It fits," Sheriff Lobo groaned. "Oh god does it fit…"

"And you can train him Sheriff," Jim grinned.

"WHY ME?" Sheriff Lobo shouted.

"Well you are the Sheriff," Deputy Yokel said. "You're the only one here qualified to do it. Hey! Maybe we can get capes on our uniforms?"

"Capes are so last season!" Jim told him.

"They are not!" Jim's father shouted.

"Don't capes get caught up in stuff?" One man asked.

"How about a half cape?" A woman asked.

"I hate my life," Sheriff Lobo moaned. "I hate my life…"

**Next: Alex starts his training and Sheriff Lobo starts getting even more migraines! What do you think of this fic so far? Love it? Hate it? Totally indifferent? Let me know! **


	4. Training Daze

**Training Daze**

"All right Alex," Sheriff Lobo sighed. "Now we've done some simple warm up exercises, we'll go on to practicing with your powers." Alex, Sheriff Lobo and Deputy Yokel were in behind the police station practicing. Alex was wearing gray sweats and sneakers. "Now you've done target practice before right?"

"Yeah a few times in my back yard," Alex said. "And once or twice while I was visiting my brother Scott he gave me some tips in the Danger Room."

"What's a Danger Room?" Deputy Yokel asked.

"It's this big training room at the Institute that has holograms and robots so you feel like you're training in any environment you want," Alex explained. "They also have lasers and flame throwers and puzzles. All kinds of wild stuff."

"Well we're kind of on a budget," Sheriff Lobo told him as he eyed the tin cans on stumps. "So we're gonna have to make do with this. Now in case you can't figure it out, what I want you to do is…"

"Shouldn't he have a costume?" Deputy Yokel interrupted.

"What?" Sheriff Lobo asked.

"A costume! All super heroes have costumes!" Deputy Yokel said.

"Again we have the budget to consider," Sheriff Lobo sighed. "Now…"

"Well I could use my X-Man training uniform," Alex volunteered. "I mean Scott did give it to me."

"Well that's…" Sheriff Lobo began.

"Nah I think that would be breaking some kind of copyright law," Deputy Yokel interrupted again.

"That only counts if you use it to make money, I think," Alex scratched his head.

"Well you can never tell with those lawyers," Deputy Yokel said.

"What about a sheriff's uniform?" Alex asked.

"Nah you don't want that, you want a real costume like those big time superheroes have!" Deputy Yokel said. "Something in black I think."

"Well as long as I don't have a bulls eye on my chest or weird headgear I guess…" Alex began.

"If you two are finished discussing the latest fashions for superheroes, can we get on with this?" Sheriff Lobo snapped. "Or would you like to discuss shoes for the next half hour?"

"Well I always thought boots were nice…" Deputy Yokel began.

"I WAS BEING SARCASIC YOU IDIOT!" Sheriff Lobo hit him with his hat.

"Hey! Your sister said you're not allowed to hit me anymore!" Deputy Yokel shouted.

"My sister isn't here!" Sheriff Lobo snapped. "Alex blow up the cans!"

Alex gave it a go. He hit five out of the six cans perfectly. The sixth one he missed and he blasted a tree. "Oops…" Alex winced as it fell on top of a parked police car. "Sorry…I'm used to bigger targets. I usually just blast rocks…and one time those Sentinels…"

"Yeah…" Sheriff Lobo winced and tried to massage his headache away with his hand. "I think I see the problem here."

"Yeah there's a tree on your car," Deputy Yokel said.

"Okay **two **problems…" Sheriff Lobo grunted. "Yokel, set 'em up again and Alex you keep practicing. Yokel as soon as Alex knocks 'em off you set 'em up again. And please try not to destroy anything else!"

"Okay…" Alex did as he was told.

"Watch it! Alex if you're not careful you'll hit Deputy Yokel!" Sheriff Lobo snapped. "Wait a minute…Hold on. I just got a **better **idea for target practice."

Twenty minutes later.

"Is this really necessary boss?" Deputy Yokel gulped. He was wearing a football helmet and was heavily padded.

"Well we need to teach the boy control," Sheriff Lobo said matter of factly. "And the object of this exercise is for him **not** to hit you." He whispered in Alex's ear, "Although if you do get him a couple of times I won't take any points off."

"You know I think you're still mad at me Sheriff for marrying your sister," Deputy Yokel gulped.

"Now why would you say that?" Sheriff Lobo asked. "I promised her I'd treat you like family, didn't I? Now shut up and make with the shooting gallery!"

"Can I at least make duck sounds?" Deputy Yokel asked. "You know like they have in those booths with the ducks as targets?"

"Yeah fine, whatever floats your boat," Sheriff Lobo rolled his eyes. "Okay Havok, start shooting."

"Quack! Quack! Quack! Ping!" Deputy Yokel made noises as he shuffled back and forth quickly. Alex managed to shoot his beams right before him, causing him to turn around and go faster. "Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack! Ping! Quack! Quack! Quack! Yeow!"

"Sorry!" Alex winced as Yokel flew backwards.

"Oh he's not even singed!" Sheriff Lobo waved. "Get up Yokel! We still got half an hour of this! Keep going!"

"Quack…Quack…Quack…Ow! Quack! Quack! Quack! Yikes!"

"He only winged you!" Sheriff Lobo shouted. "Come on, pick up the pace!"

"Sheriff…" Alex began.

"Oh go ahead and shoot him, he's fine!" Sheriff Lobo snapped. "I know for a fact he's been hit harder than that!"

"Quack…Quack…OW!" Deputy Yokel was then hit and thrown headfirst into a tree. "I'm okay…"

"Sorry…" Alex gulped.

"It's okay…" Deputy Yokel moaned. "I think I'm gonna take a nap now…"

"And to think," Sheriff Lobo grinned. "At first I didn't think I was gonna like having to train you. There are advantages of having a mutant helping out around here."

**Next: Alex goes on lifeguard duty. But it turns out he's got more to worry about than sharks and Deputy Yokel in a thong bikini…Don't ask. Just read….**


	5. Baywatch This Ain't

**Baywatch This Ain't**

"Here shark, shark, shark…" Deputy Yokel called out. "Here sharky, shark shark…"

"I think I know **why** they're not coming…" Alex tried to avert his eyes from Deputy Yokel's bathing attire. He was wearing his deputy hat, a bright orange thong and flip-flops. "That bathing suit you're wearing is scaring them off…"

"Lord knows it's given **me** my share of nightmares," Sheriff Lobo winced in pain. He was wearing his sheriff's outfit. Alex was wearing his blue surfing suit. They were all at the beach where Sheriff Lobo had just dropped them off.

"Really?" Deputy Yokel blinked. "But your sister loves me in this outfit. She thinks I'm drop dead sexy in this!"

"Well she's got the drop dead part right…" Sheriff Lobo's eye began to twitch.

"When I think of all the times I wore this for my sweetie…" Deputy Yokel sighed dreamily. "How we laughed and carried on in the sand, in our hot tub…and once in a pool of Jell-O…"

"Must…not…kill…" Sheriff Lobo gritted his teeth.

"Way too much **information** here!" Alex winced. "Sheriff please tell me what I'm supposed to do again!"

"We are going to protect the public from all threats," Deputy Yokel said. "Scour the beaches for evildoers! Blast apart…"

"Deputy! Shut up and put some pants on!" Sheriff Lobo snapped. "Look there have been a lot of shark sightings in this area lately. We need you to look around for a few hours, watch out for them and blast any you see. That and other lifeguard duties. We're a little short staffed since our last lifeguard took off so…"

"Yeah I get the picture," Alex said. "How many lifeguards are there? Besides me?"

"Well…Besides you?" Sheriff Lobo pointed to Deputy Yokel who was doing some stretches. "You can see why we need the help."

"Don't worry Alex! We'll be on patrol together!" Deputy Yokel grinned. "And I know CPR so if there's an emergency, I'll be ready!"

"Yeah, little reminder Alex…" Sheriff Lobo whispered to him. "If I am ever, **ever** in a situation where the only way to save my life is for Yokel to give me mouth to mouth…Please let me die. I mean the man's breath smells like somebody left anchovies and cheese out in the sun for a few days."

"Only if you do the same for me," Alex told him.

"And stretch and bend and stretch and bend…" Deputy Yokel was still prancing around.

"DEPUTY IF YOU DON'T PUT YOUR PANTS ON RIGHT NOW I AM GOING TO SHOOT YOU!" Sheriff Lobo shouted. "I'M GETTING MY GUN OUT…"

"Okay, okay…" Deputy Yokel pulled on some exercise pants. "Man some people are so uptight."

"And you have no idea **why?"** Sheriff Lobo snapped. "Alex just take this Baywatch Reject over here and patrol the beach for the next two hours. I have to go back to the station and call my psychiatrist. I need a refill on my prescription…" He got into his jeep and drove away.

"So…There are a lot of sharks around here?" Alex asked.

"Apparently," Deputy Yokel nodded. "That's why we're needed to protect the public!"

"Both of them," Alex remarked as he saw two elderly women sunbathing in outdated swimwear.

"Yoo Hoo!" One of them waved. "I could use some sunscreen on my back!"

"I think I see a shark out there!" Alex turned around and headed for the water.

"What do you mean? There's no…" Deputy Yokel began before Alex dragged him to the water.

"I should have brought my board," Alex sighed as he was knee deep in the water. "See anything?"

"Other than that very large shadow over there no," Deputy Yokel pointed. There was a huge twelve-foot shadow under the waves.

"That shadow **there?"** Alex asked.

"That's not a shark is it?" Deputy Yokel gulped.

"No…" Alex blinked. "Definitely not a shark."

Suddenly something with a long green neck popped out of the water with a loud roar. "Okay…Since when do we have **sea monsters** hanging out around here?" Alex shouted.

"BLAST HIM!" Deputy Yokel cowered behind Alex.

"ME?" Alex shouted.

"YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE POWERS?" Deputy Yokel screamed.

"Oh yeah…" Alex gulped as the monster bore down on them. He used his powers and blasted it several times. The creature screamed and sparked as it blew apart.

"Wow that was quick…" Deputy Yokel remarked. Then he was hit on the head with a machine part. He fell down. "Oooh! Birdies…"

"I know CPR!" One of the elderly ladies ran up in a tizzy and started giving it to him.

"Uh lady I think he's breathing…" Alex blinked.

"Why do you think she's doing it?" The other elderly woman asked.

Sheriff Lobo drove up and got out of his jeep. "I saw the explosion? What happened?"

"It's some kind of robot," Alex said. He picked up some debris. "It looked like a sea monster. That's probably what was terrorizing people."

"A robot sea monster?" Sheriff Lobo blinked. "Who would make a robot sea monster to terrorize people around here? The only thing this town has of any value is the Dairy Queen?"

"Why do I have the feeling things are going to get a lot weirder around here?" Alex groaned.

"That's because Deputy Yokel has taken off his pants again," Sheriff Lobo covered his eyes. "Alex do me a favor. Hand me my gun."

**Next: Some villains and…I don't know what's next but it's sure to be weird. **


	6. Bad Guys and Bad Luck

**Okay sorry about the delay in this chapter. A lot of things have happened at the same time. Namely writers block, work and a few dozen revisions of other fics thanks to the ever-changing mind of FF Net! Now to bring in some villains including one long forgotten Marvel character! **

**Bad Guys and Bad Luck**

"I AM SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS!" A large, gray skinned mutant in Egyptian clothing screamed. "HOW CAN I, THE LIVING MONOLITH FUTURE RULER OF THIS PLANET, BE THRWARTED BY A SINGLE TEENAGE SURFER?"

"The Living Monolith?" Stella asked. "Geeze that's the **best **you could come up with for a name?"

"Well his real name is Amhet Abdol," Luna shrugged. "And in his normal form he's kind of geeky and…"

"Silence!" Monolith slammed his fist on the table. He and the twin mutant Bacchae were in his lab. "And that's **Professor **Amhet Abdol to you!"

"Touchy, touchy," Luna winced.

"My mutant ability to absorb and use specific kinds of radiation to increase my size, mass, strength and resistance to injury gives me the power, no the **right **to rule this world," Monolith hissed. "As a descendant of Apocalypse himself I alone have the power to do so."

"I thought your parents owned a grocery store in Patterson, New Jersey?" Luna scratched her head.

"Yeah there's no real proof you're related to Apocalypse, even though you do kind of look like him," Stella said.

"I was speaking metaphorically," Monolith growled. "Gods when I petitioned Selene for the use of some of her Bacchae little did I know she's send me the bottom of the barrel."

"It wasn't our fault!" Stella protested.

"Yeah the bank robbery was a fluke," Luna said. "And that sea monster robot was just plain stupid."

"It was **not** stupid!" Monolith shouted. "It was the perfect defense for my future base of operations."

"Isn't this it?" Stella looked around the room.

"Again I was speaking in grandiose terms," He groaned. "I meant as a security measure to take over the island itself and make it my own personal kingdom. From here I can build my empire!"

"So…You want to set up base in Hawaii?" Luna asked.

"Well can you think of a more hospitable climate for a future world leader?" He shouted. "I mean we have the volcanoes to use for a power source, it's on an island which makes it easy to defend ourselves…"

"Not to mention it's a great place to get a tan," Luna nodded.

"Yes the weather really is good for…"He stopped. "SHUT UP!"

"It's not our fault you're too cheap to hire more people to help us," Stella grumbled.

"Believe me if I hadn't spent nearly all the money I had on my security system and underground base you two would be sent back to the Bacchae so fast…" Monolith growled. He looked at a small compact device. "Not to mention this handy little gadget that allows me to create and store any cosmic radiation I want."

"How does it work?" Luna asked.

"It's very complicated," Monolith told her. "Now what I must do is…"

"Does it have a cross capacitor in it or a standard transition coil system?" Stella asked as she pointed.

"It doesn't matter…" Monolith told her. "Now what I have to do in order for my plans to work is…"

"What powers it?" Luna asked. "Does it hold a small bit of radioactive material or some kind of moon rock?"

"That's not what I'm talking about right now," Monolith told her. "Now what I need you to do is…"

"A moon rock?" Stella looked at her sister. "There's no radioactivity on the moon."

"There are trace amounts of radioactivity in all planetoids," Luna said. "Besides I didn't say **which **moon. There are a lot of other moons in our solar system you know?"

"And how would they get to Earth?" Stella asked.

"Okay maybe not a moon, but a comet or something," Luna shrugged.

"Well a comet I can see," Stella said. "But a moon…"

"WILL YOU TWO STIFLE YOURSELVES?" Monolith screamed. "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT IT RUNS ON! YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW WHAT IT RUNS ON OR WHAT'S IN THE DAMN THING! IT COULD RUN ON BATTERIES FOR ALL YOU CARE! I HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS FOR YOU TO THINK ABOUT! GOT IT?"

"Batteries?" Stella asked. "Wouldn't that interfere with the radiation?"

"Well it depends on what kind of battery and what wiring system it has," Luna said. "For example if he had a medical M4D7 with a copper and adamantium neo nucleonic wiring that would work fine."

"Yeah that's pretty obvious," Stella said. "I mean it's not like he can go to Radio Shack and…"

"I TOLD YOU BOTH TO SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" Monolith screamed. "Just forget about the device and pay attention! All right?"

Stella looked at him. "You don't know how it works do you?"

"Yes I do!" Monolith snapped. "I know perfectly well how it works."

"Prove it," Stella said.

"I am your boss! I don't **have **to prove **anything!"** Monolith shouted at her.

"He doesn't know," Luna said. Stella agreed by shaking her head.

"You know the only reason I don't kill the both of you is because of my friendship with your grandmother," Monolith growled.

"That and she'd kick your butt," Stella pointed out.

"Just shut up and listen to my plan," Monolith hissed. "This time we'll get rid of that pesky Alex Masters once and for all!"

**What diabolical plan is the Living Monolith hatching? Who is the twin's grandmother? Find out the answer to some of these questions next time.**

Luna walked out and looked at the Author. "You said that last time."

Deputy Yokel walked in. "Well that's because she doesn't have a clue how this is going to go."

**I do too!**

"No you don't," Deputy Yokel shook his head. "She's too busy with her other stories. Did you know on one fic she's really up to chapter 35 but she's too lazy to send the episodes out regularly?"

**I am not lazy! I just had a lot of things to do lately! I have spring-cleaning I have to do. I just finished helping repaint the inside of the house, went on interviews, upgrading my computer, fixed a bunch of other fics…**

"Going shopping…" Deputy Yokel added.

**Yeah I got some great bargains at…SHUT UP! **

Alex walked in. "Yeah, yeah. I'm not as important as my brother is. I get it."

**I did not say that! **

"You haven't said much of anything," Alex told Red Witch. "Here I am the star of this fic and I barely get four or five funny lines! I'm not even in this chapter! What a rip off!"

"Consider yourself lucky," Scott walked in. "Do you have any idea what she **does** with characters she works with a lot? I mean look at this…" He showed his brother the script for future chapters of her latest fic. "Look at what she has us doing next! Look at what she's gonna to do Jean and me!"

"Well at least you get some action," Alex told him.

"Oh yeah?" Scott pointed at something. "What about **this?** How's **that** for action pal?"

"Whoa…" Deputy Yokel peeked over Alex's shoulder. "That is bad."

"I don't feel so neglected anymore," Luna agreed.

"You know RW…" Alex looked at the Author. "Maybe you should take your time with my fic. No rush…"

**How did I lose control of this fic? Well tune in next time and hopefully I'll figure out how to make it right again.**

"See I told you she doesn't have a clue," Luna said.

**SHUT UP! Where the heck is my mallet? **

"Guys I think we'd better get out of here," Alex gulped.

"Yeah I've already got her torturing me for the next several weeks," Scott moved on. "No need to add to the pain…"

**OH I'LL SHOW YOU PAIN MISTER! WHERE IS MY MALLET? **


	7. What's The Big Idea?

**What's The Big Idea?**

"Okay why do I have to be here?" Alex sighed. They were at a small county fair.

"To provide security," Deputy Yokel told him. He was wearing a zebra costume. "I love petting zoos!"

"Why is he…?" Alex asked Sheriff Lobo.

"Don't ask…" Sheriff Lobo groaned. "Please don't ask. Look we just need to look around and keep an eye out for pickpockets and any sign of trouble."

"Too late, trouble has found you," The Living Monolith grinned as he waited, hiding in the bushes. "That's right Havok. Thanks to my latest device you will be dead! And those harmless little animals will be your executioners!"

Then he stopped. "What? **This** is your idea?" The Living Monolith blinked. "RED WE NEED TO TALK!"

**For crying out loud! What's wrong?**

"**This** is what's wrong!" Monolith shook the script at the author. "This stupid script! This is the best you could come up with after all this time? Rampaging animals in a petting zoo?"

**They'll be ten times their normal size and radioactive. **

"Who cares! It's still lame!" Monolith shouted. "It sounds like you ripped it off of a bad 70's cartoon!"

"Knowing her she probably did," Sheriff Lobo sighed as he, Alex and Deputy Yokel walked up. "What's the hold up?"

"This is ridiculous! I will **not** do this!" Monolith snapped. "I am supposed to be an evil, ruthless villain and I will not be reduced to some second rate stooge!"

"What if we make you a first rate stooge?" Deputy Yokel asked.

"I think **you **have that title hands down," Sheriff Lobo groaned.

"I don't know why **you're **complaining," Alex said. "This fic was supposed to be about me and the troubles I have dealing with my mutant powers. And what happens? I feel like a joke!"

"Welcome to my world," Sheriff Lobo groaned.

"Thank goodness she hasn't done anything humiliating to me," Deputy Yokel sighed. "Hey is my tail crooked?"

"You know they've got a point," Hal said as he and Dave walked up to the others. "We're supposed to be Alex's best friends and all we got was one scene in this lousy fic!"

"Yeah I mean this really sucks," Dave said.

"See? Even the stereotypical stoners here can see this script is nothing but garbage!" Monolith snapped.

"Hey who are you calling a stoner pal?" Dave snapped. "I'll have you know I have a perfect 4.0 grade average!"

"Yeah and I do volunteer work at the nursing home where my grandma lives," Hal said. "I resent that implication just because we're teens who like to surf we waste our lives."

"That's really low man," Dave said.

"Well **excuse **me!" Monolith snapped. "I'm a villain! What do you expect? All smiles and sunshine?"

"You don't have to be so rude," Deputy Yokel said.

"Oh go graze on someone's lawn!" Monolith told him.

**All right! All right! I admit it! The script is lame! I've got writer's block okay?**

"You don't seem to have writer's block on any of your other fics," Alex folded his arms.

"Yeah you're zipping along with those," Sheriff Lobo.

"Well that is it," Monolith huffed. "I refuse to go on with this travesty. I won't do it. I refuse to act like a common buffoon in a substandard mid season show that's going to be replaced by some god awful reality show. I did not spend **years **at Yale and some of the best drama academies for **this!"**

"Don't forget those two months at hairdressing school," Deputy Yokel said. "Before you flunked out."

"That explains a lot," Sheriff Lobo said.

"I did **not** flunk out! I decided to leave when I realized I had a much higher calling!" Monolith snarled.

"Yeah you decided to leave right after they kicked you out," Dave snorted.

"SHUT UP!" Monolith screamed.

**Does anyone else have problems like this? Look guys, maybe I can work on something…**

"It's too late for that," Monolith snapped. "I'm sorry! I've had it. I quit. That's it, I quit."

"What do you mean you quit?" Alex asked. "You can't quit. We're in the middle of a fic here. Okay it's a stupid fic where I don't get enough lines but still…"

"I'm finished! I'm quitting! That's all!" Monolith snapped. "If anyone needs me I will be in my dressing room!"

**Oh for crying out loud….**

That's when Senator Kelly stormed in. "What the hell are you doing? Get back here you wimp!"

"Who are **you** calling a wimp?" Monolith snarled.

"Yeah you're not even in this fic," Alex scratched his head.

"I heard what this pathetic excuse for a mutant said," Kelly pointed. "You don't like your lines? Think you're getting a raw deal? Well boo freaking hoo! Cry me a river! I get lousy lines and jobs all the time in fics but do you hear me complaining? I've been shot, mauled by dogs, turtles, snakes as well as practically every animal on the planet! You name it, it bit me! I have a bite from a two headed turtle pal in a place I can't even **mention** but do you hear me giving up?"

Sheriff Lobo looked at the author. "Red, what is Kelly doing here?"

**I don't know! He just popped in all of the sudden! He just slipped out of my mind! **

"I think the warranty's expired on your brain," Sheriff Lobo grumbled.

"I've had a **ton **of lousy scripts and lines but unlike **some** people **I** am a professional," Kelly said.

"And just what is **that **supposed to mean?" Monolith snarled.

"He called you a poser, that's what he means," Hal told him.

"WHAT?" Monolith shouted.

"Just what the punk said," Kelly told him.

"Dude I am not…I go to church every freaking Sunday!" Hal shouted. "I am **not** a stereotype!"

"It's losers like you that give us Villains a bad name!" Sabertooth stormed in.

"I am **not **a villain!" Kelly said. "And what the hell are **you **doing here?"

"Yeah right," Sabertooth snorted. "And I'm taking anger management classes!"

"Really? Are they working?" Deputy Yokel asked.

"Didn't I have you for breakfast the other day?" Sabertooth growled at him.

Sheriff Lobo looked at the author. "Another little slip of the mind?"

"Her mind slipped years ago," Selene walked in with Luna and Stella. "I don't know why you're all shocked at this."

**Okay, it's official. I've completely lost control of this fic. I don't know what happened. I had a plan. It just…went to pieces.**

"Yeah like the Monolith's acting skills," Kelly said.

"All right! That's it!" Monolith snapped. "Prepare to get your posterior pummeled by my feet of fury!"

"Huh?" Deputy Yokel scratched his head.

"He's gonna kick his butt," Alex told him.

"Oh," Deputy Yokel nodded.

"Bring it on Freak!" Kelly shouted.

"Yeah even **he** can take **you,"** Luna pointed out.

"I dunno," Stella said. "I think they're both wimps."

"WHAT?" Kelly and Monolith shouted. Soon the four of them were in a screaming match with each other.

"So what are you doing here?" Alex asked the other two villains.

"I got bored," Sabertooth shrugged.

"Well I was supposed to be introduced as Stella and Luna's grandmother in this chapter but I don't think it's going to happen now," Selene explained.

"You're their grandmother?" Sabertooth blinked.

"I'm a centuries old immortal sorceress mutant," Selene looked at him. "What? Is it that hard to imagine that I would have a child from time to time?"

"O-kay," Deputy Yokel watched the four fighting. "I guess they do take after you huh?"

"How would you like to be dumped in the middle of the Savannah surrounded by a pride of hungry lions?" Selene snapped. "That can be arranged!"

**What happened to this fic? It was going along so well.**

"It was?" Sheriff Lobo asked. "That's it! I'm going to get a beer."

"I'll join you," Selene sighed. "I can't watch these idiots any more."

"Not me," Sabertooth snickered. "Nothin' funnier than a geek fight."

"I think I'd better go talk to my agent," Alex grumbled.

**And I'd better get some medication…And a larger mallet. Sorry folks but this fic will be put off for a while. At least until I get my imagination under control. KELLY! DON'T BITE THE MONOLITH'S EAR OFF! STOP IT! **


	8. This Fic is Over

**This Fic is Over**

**This fic is a disaster. Kelly is in the infirmary. The Living Monolith is locked in his dressing room screaming at his agent. Sabertooth and Selene are whooping it up in a bar somewhere. Stella and Luna went shopping which sounds like a great idea right now. I don't know where Sheriff Lobo went. Last I saw him he was muttering something to himself about taking up dentistry and moving to Maine. And Deputy Yokel decided to take everyone else out to lunch including a few extra people! **

**In other words my brain has been hijacked by my overactive imagination! I need a cappuchino…**

"Man who knew Monolith had such a good right hook?" Alex shrugged. Several characters were at the local restaurant eating outdoors.

"Yeah thanks to him we were able to have some grub," Todd remarked as he munched on his burger.

"I thought Deputy Yokel was picking up the check?" Scott asked him.

"He did after he picked up Kelly's wallet where he dropped it," Todd told him.

"Why is he in this fic?" Alex looked at his brother.

"I don't even know why **I'm** in this fic," Scott groaned. "I gotta confess Alex I'm not exactly crazy about you being a superhero on your own. Even if it is in a town like this."

"Well you're not supposed to know about this yet," Todd said as he picked up a purple folder. "Remember? You find out about Alex being a superhero for his town in Holidays are Hazardous to Your Health. This takes place before last year's big holiday fic."

"Like anybody pays attention to continuity around here," Scott groaned. "Where did you get that?"

"Oh this is one of the folders Red uses to keep a list of her stories and what she's working on and stuff," Todd nodded. "I borrowed it when she went out for a cappuchino run."

"Another one?" Alex asked. "Man that chick drinks a lot of those."

"You have no idea," Scott sighed. "This is reason number five why our lives suck."

"I'd hate to hear about reasons one through four," Alex said.

"Hey did you know she was planning on doing a small series with you Alex?" Todd asked.

Alex replied, "Yeah but it's nothing much. A few stories about how I beat up the bad guy of the day and stuff. That's why she scrapped it."

"You mean like a Sailor Moon rip off?" Scott asked.

"Pretty much," Alex sighed. "All I wanted was to show what I could do. I didn't want to be just known as Scott Summer's Brother, ya know?"

"Trust me Alex," Scott sighed. "I don't think that's ever going to happen."

"Yeah there's no way anybody will confuse **you **with this uptight control freak," Todd pointed with his thumb.

"Why are you here again?" Scott glared at him.

"For the free food, duh!" Todd munched on his fries. He looked at Scott's fries. "Are you gonna eat that?"

"Help yourself," Scott pushed them towards him. "What is Deputy Yokel doing?"

"A very bad kareoke impersonation of Cher," Alex winced. "He does look good in the wig though."

"No wonder that sheriff of yours is so uptight," Todd gulped down on the fries.

"I HATE MY AGENT!" The Living Monolith stormed in.

"Couldn't get out of your contract could you?" Alex asked.

"SHUT UP!" Monolith shouted.

**Okay everyone! Let's finish this fic! Boy this cappuchino smoothie is good! **

"Don't you think you've had enough?" Todd asked.

**Don't you think you should go back to your own fics? **

"We're still going to do this stupid idea of me turning on that dumb giant animal making machine aren't we?" Monolith groaned.

"What are you complaining about?" Alex shouted. "You don't have to fight 'em!"

"Look the sooner we get this over with the sooner this fic is done and we can all go back to whatever we wanna do until she decides on her next dumb idea," Sheriff Lobo walked in.

"Fine!" Monolith threw up his hands. "But it's still a stupid idea!"

"Or we could just say my father got his hands on it somehow and accidentally turned it on," Jim walked over to them.

"What kind of stupid…?" The Living Monolith looked behind him. "AAAAAHHHH!"

"WOOF! WOOF!" Mayor Sprinkles barked. Considering he was twenty times his normal size this was rather frightening.

"What is that?" Scott readied his visor.

"That's our Mayor," Alex stopped him.

"You're kidding," Todd looked at him.

"He isn't," Scott groaned.

"Whoever heard of a St. Bernard in **Hawaii?"** The Living Monolith screamed.

"Okay I think we're gonna go back to our own fics now," Todd hopped away.

"Yeah, have a good fight Alex," Scott and the other characters that weren't supposed to be in the fic moved off. "I'll visit you in the hospital."

"THANKS A LOT!" Alex shouted.

**Uh, I think we all know how this fic is going to end so I might as well cut out now…Besides Sprinkles will probably just shrink back to normal size after a few hours.**

**"PROBABLY?" **Sheriff Lobo shouted.

"YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LEAVE US LIKE THIS?" Alex shouted. "YUCK! DOG DROOL! I GOT DOG DROOL OVER ME!"

"Great! I'm stuck in a fic even the author doesn't want to finish!" The Monolith shouted. "It can't get any worse!"

"Watch out!" Deputy Yokel screamed. "He's lifting his leg!"

"I had to say that…" Monolith groaned. "AAGGGGGGHHHHHH!"

"I am not cleaning that mess up!" Alex shouted. "Jim!"

"Why me?" Jim shouted from behind a tree.

"He's **your **dog!" Alex shouted.

"He's also the mayor and as an appointed deputy it's your responsibility!" Jim shouted. "Right Sheriff?"

"Hell no!" Sheriff Lobo snapped.

"You agree with me?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, because if I did that would mean I would probably have to help!" Sheriff Lobo shouted. "Animal Control is not in our job description!"

"I'm pretty sure it is," Jim said.

"Maybe we should check the town charter?" Deputy Yokel asked.

"STOP IT! PUT ME DOWN!" Monolith screamed. "I AM NOT A CHEW TOY!"

"I guess I should rescue him huh?" Alex looked at the others.

"Well let's not be too hasty here," Sheriff Lobo said. "After all it is his own fault."

"NO IT'S NOT! IT'S THE RED WITCH'S FAULT! WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE I WILL SUE! SUE I TELL YA!" Monolith screamed.

"She did say it would wear off right?" Alex asked.

"Yeah most likely," Jim nodded. "And the mayor does seem to be occupying himself so he's not gonna run around much."

"OH MOMMA THAT HURTS!" Monolith howled.

"The mayor does like to chew doesn't he?" Jim asked.

"Okay I have a suggestion for a re-write," Deputy Yokel said. "The Mayor shrinks back on his own in an hour and the rest of us go out for cappuchino smoothies downtown."

"Sounds good to me," Alex nodded. "I just need to take a shower first."

"Yeah that's a good plan," Jim nodded.

"First one you've ever had Deputy," Sheriff Lobo patted him on his back. "This calls for a celebration. I'm buying."

"HEY! COME BACK HERE!" Monolith screamed. "YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HERE LIKE THIS! OW! YOU'RE THE FREAKING HERO FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! OW! QUIT IT YOU DUMB DOG! I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS HAVOK! I'LL GET YOU IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO! RIGHT AFTER I KILL THE AUTHOR! YOU HEAR ME? OWWWWWW!"


End file.
